This week has been especially hard for me. I had planned my fantasy post around these images.
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- Mikey
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- Figgy
Instead, the fantasy theme came to mean something else to me this week. We said goodbye to two of our long term foster dogs. And so, this week’s theme of fantasy is particularly poignant.
Missy has lived with us for more than four years. She’s suffered from severe seizures for even longer. Over the years we managed Missy seizures with many medications and while we were never able to fully stop them, as she had breakthroughs anytime the weather changed or a storm came through, we were able to keep her comfortable. Last Friday night Missy had three very long seizures and then passed away a bit later that night.
My fantasy for Missy was always that she would be happy and healthy and seizure free. All of my photos of Missy are snapshots as she was always on the move and never on to look when you called due to the brain damage from untreated seizures before being rescued, but this is my favorite photo of her. I hope that she has a big porch to lay on, plenty of sunshine, and nice breeze to enjoy now in a body that is no longer racked with seizures.
We also had to say goodbye to Archie this week. I think we all begin in rescue with the fantasy we can save them all. With enough love, enough training, enough medical help, we can make every dog whole. The reality is that we can’t.
Archie arrived after being abandoned in a dog park. Despite all efforts to find his owner’s no family came for him, and so we took him into rescue. Immediately we knew Archie was a very anxious dog. Archie’s first option when overwhelmed was a hard fast bite. We began working to rehabilitate him. We worked with our vet to rule out medical conditions and find medications, we worked with our trainer to teach Archie new coping skills, we had a consult with the behaviorist at the University. Unfortunately the consensus was all the same. Something was wrong with Archie and none of the medications or training or management could fix him.
I only have cell phone photos of Archie. I never felt safe enough to get down low with my big camera and him.
Making this choice for Archie is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in nearly 10 years of rescue. I am a fixer and I feel like I failed him while at the same time I know I tried everything I could.
So my fantasy for this week is that we can save them all. We can get rid of seizures and cancer and old age and mental illness and accidents and disease. So while I dream about that, I’m going to celebrate the ones we can save. I am going to enjoy every moment of happiness and each success with my dogs.
Oh I’m so sorry for your losses! Please don’t feel like you failed Archie!
Truly sorry for your loss. Keep celebrating the animals you can save and know in your heart you gave much comfort to those that have moved on. Not everyone can say that.
Oh I am so sorry. Bless you for helping these two dogs when most other people wouldn’t have. Hugs.
So sorry for Mikey and Figgy.
Make sure you have done the best for each one of them.
With you, they had the best they could have.
So very sorry. Keep going, there are more who need you. Peace and love.
Wow, I’m choked up reading what you have been through. I’m sad for you and your fosters – because after all that time you have spent, they probably were your dogs – maybe you just didn’t know it. I think for both of these dogs, you have to remember that you have given them something that no one else did. Love, attention and a caring heart – you didn’t fail either of these dogs – someone else did. Hugs, wishing you the best!
Courtney I am so darned sorry to read this. Bless you for being the person you are. I too have owned a “broken” dog, It is a life changing event for sure but we love them all the same. My ones default/fallback was agression as well and not because he had been mistreated. I had him from 8 weeks old- not long after that the issues started with him right up until the day I said goodbye. I feel for you.
Such a beautiful sentiment. God bless you for doing all you can for these precious babies.
I have faith both these angels got the love they should have had all along and you gave that to them. Sending you hugs!
I’m sorry for your loss. They have now crossed over the rainbow bridge with no ailing bodies to trap them. I’m sure if they could have, they would have told you how much you meant to them and how grateful they are you were their human.
So very sorry. We do our best, and thank you for giving them yours! xo
That story brought a tear to my eye. Please don’t feel like a failure! You’ve done truckloads more for those pups than most people would even think of doing….and certainly more than the people before you! You’re an angel to care, and even though that last decision you made for Archie hurts like a beast, he’ll know you’re special. Xx
When I first started working at shelters, I was shocked with the reality that not all dogs can be saved. For severe psychological issues, the reality is that Archie has suffered in ways we will never understand and your decision has actually released him from the pain he was feeling on earth. Comfort yourself with knowing both Missy and Archie are released of their pain.